Lucky Guess
by Gillianandersonwannabe
Summary: My two favorite shows. If you only are a fan of one, I tried to still make it enjoyable, so give it a chance! Basically, Mulder and Scully have to investigate Shawn and Gus. Hilarity ensues. And don't worry, there will be MSR and Shules in later chapters


_**A/N: **Oh God. I love these shows. This crossover was bound to happen eventually. Think of the pre-Shules era along with season 5 or 6 of TXF. This is just part 1, obviously. I have plenty of ideas for part 2, but if this isn't well received I won't continue, so uh, just tell me if you want me to write it and I promise I'll get it out ASAP. The main reason I hesitate is because I'm not sure how much crossover there is between the two fandoms, but whatever! I tried to make it so you could enjoy it, even if you don't watch one of the shows._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ Psych and all things related belongs to USA. The X-Files and all things related belongs to FOX. There you go._

_Please enjoy and review:)_

* * *

"It's time to break out the sunscreen", Mulder exclaimed when I walked into the office.

"Excuse me?" Mulder looked very happy today. That stupid boyish grin.

"Santa Barbara, California! Flight leaves at noon tomorrow!"

"And may I inquire as to the nature of this visit?"

He flops a file in front of me. "Shawn Spencer. Him and his buddy Burton Guster run a psychic detective agency there. Apparently they've helped the local PD solve dozens of cases." I can feel him watch me while I flip through the file.

"A psychic Mulder?"

"_Dozens _of cases."

He has got to be kidding. "Mulder, these _dozens _of cases he's solved are probably just the result of dumb luck, educated guesses, and maybe even hyperactive powers of observation! I wouldn't be suprised if he rigged a few of these himself. That's all psychics are anyways, detectives or not."

"So I guess you wouldn't be interested in getting your plam read?"

"Mulder, is there even a case here?" I continue looking over the file. This Shawn Spencer isn't too bad looking.

"The FBI got an anoynymous tip that he might be a fraud."

I snort. "Geez, so this must be serious."

"Actually", he continues, uneffected, "It would mean that these two have swindled a large sum from the SBPD. Not to mention, fooled a lot of people." He shoots his eyebrows up for effect.

"And let me guess, we've been called in because of your experience in dealing with psychics?"

He smiles that damn boyish smile again. "Are you sure YOU'RE not psychic Scully?" I roll my eyes.

"So what, we judge his psychic ability?" I ask.

"That's about it. Ready for a little sun?"

"Mmmm." A detail of the file catches my eye. Their agency is called Psych. As in, gotcha! I involuntarily sigh. At least it will be warm. I'm about to leave in search of coffee when Mulder calls after me.

"Don't for get your bikini!" He says with a suggestive smirk. Another roll of my eyes and I'm out of the office.

* * *

"Shawn, we have a problem", Gus said, rushing into the office. He's wearing his panic face. "Like, a MAJOR PROBLEM. Like, FBI problem!" he practically yells at me, perfectly pronouncing every syllable.

"Hold on Gus, calm yourself before your precious head explodes", I say. This must be serious. FBI? Why are the a problem for us?

"SHAWN, this is serious! Psych is under investigation by the FBI! The federal government of the United States of America!"

"Remind me again what FBI stands for?" I ask, in an atempt to get him to calm down. "Flapjacks, being..."-

"Quit joking Shawn, this is serious! They're sending two agents down from WASHINGTON DC to determine whether we should be arrested for fraud! They want proof that you're a psychic!" Gus looks ready to blow a gasket.

Time to relax him. Sure, I'm a little worried, but not too much. "Gus. I'm sure the FBI has better things to do than to put a handome psychic and his black friend to the test. When they get down here I'll just do a little of this", I touch my fingers to my head and squint my eyes, "And they'll be on their merry way. What kind of agents investigate psychic happenings anyway?" I turn in a circle. "Am I being punked? Ashton!"-

"THESE agents!" Gus shouts, only further incited by my nonchalence. He hands me a couple files. "Fox Mulder and Dana Scully."

"Woah, maybe we should think of ridiculous names too! I'll be Bear Cunnings and you can be Burton Guster."

He ignores my comment. Clearly I'm not on my A-game today.

"Juliet pulled some strings and smuggled these to us", he gestures to the files.

Fox Mulder's is on top. I flip it open. Hmm, not a bad looking guy. "This is perfect Gus, I'll just surprise them with some info from these and they'll be perfectly convinced." I glance up at Gus. He's still freaking out. "Don't worry buddy! I have this all under control."

"Shawn, last time you said that we ended up in the middle of a freezing lake, NAKED, with no way to contact anyone."

"And it makes for a great party story! Now, why don't you go and get yourself a churro while I work my magic?" He visibley relaxes at the mention of the Mexican treat.

"Fine Shawn, but just remember, we're facing jail time here! This is not a joke!" With that, he stomps out.

Hmm. Time to find out just who these people are.

* * *

"Mulder."

"Mmm?" he mutters.

"We're lost."

"We aren't lost Scully. We're just exploring."

"We've been _exploring_ for almost an hour now." Not that I'm really annoyed though. It's nice to soak up the sun, and by sheer luck, we got a car with a sunroof.

Also I like to give him a hard time.

"And now we're done", he says smugly. And sure enough, I can see a single word printed huge in a window, "Psych".

After he parks I heave an audible sigh.

"Let's go get our plams read", he says cheerfully. One glance over at him confirms my suspicions. The boyish grin is back.

"Let's just get this over with", I murmur. When we walk in I feel like I've walked into a college dorm. I give Mulder a look that blames him for this misery.

"Mr. Spencer? Mr. Guster?" I inquire.

I catch sight of a man- Shawn Spencer- when he speaks. He's facing opposite us in a swivel chair. "I've been expecting you, agents Mulder and Scully." He swivels around to face us and the look on his face can only be described as clinically insane.

Mulder knudges me and smiles. I roll my eyes.

"I only jest of course", he says, composing himself and standing to shake our hands. "That's not really how it works, I've just always wanted to do that. I did, however", he shakes Mulder's hand vigoursly, "get a tip that you were coming." He gets down on one knee and kisses my hand. "I certainly did not expect the Agent Scully to be quite so lovely though."

I should slap him. Actually, I should slap the grin off Mulder's face. I should kick Shawn Spencer right where it hurts. Of course I don't, but if looks could kill, I would be guilty of double homicide.

"So", I say loudly, "You're psychic?"

"As sure as", he reaches out and touches my hair. He closes his eyes for a moment. "That beautiful hair is all natural."

I fight the urge to smack him and settle for slapping his hand away. I'm about to read him the riot act when Mulder puts his hand on my back, cautioning me. I glance at him and find concern behind the amusement in his eyes.

* * *

The universe has sent me an unexpected blessing. Less than five minutes with these two, and they've told me something that wasn't in their files.

They're in love!

It's so obvious I wonder how they are even allowed to work together. I mean, the hand on the back was cute, but Agent Mulder keeps gazing at her. It's a little overkill.

Lucky guy too. Dana Scully's little ID picture in her file did not do her justice. For some reason, I don't get a lot of red heads, and this one is very lovely. Something about that 'all-buisness' haircut mixed with the short stature. And, good God, those lips! "Have mercy", I mutter so that they can't hear. I know I probably can't push her much farther without ending up in the ICU.

"Mr. Spencer, may I ask where Mr. Guster is?" Agent Mulder asks. Then, Gus bursts in.

"Shawn! The agents-" he stops short when he sees them standing in the office. Then, he immediately morphs into serious Gus. "Excuse me, I apologize for my tardiness." He steps around them to stand at my side.

"No apology necassary", says Agent Scully. "I'm agent Scully, and this is agent Mulder."

Before he can respond I feel the need to butt in. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Ben Jerry, and this is my associate, Baskin Robbin." Sometimes those just come up out of no where.

Gus is trying really hard to keep it cool, and I feel a little bad. A little. "Burton Guster", he says through clenched teeth. "May I speak to you in private for a moment Shawn?" It's not really a question.

"Gus! Don't be a three leaf clover! I was just about to-"

"Excuse us a moment", he says while dragging me deeper into the office. This is not going to be fun.

* * *

"Well, this is turning out to be quite the assignment!" Mulder says gleefully. I don't understand how he can think this is so funny. I mean, this is ridiculous! Shawn is even more childish than Mulder! I tell Mulder as much.

He puts his index finger to his lips and gestures at the two arguing. Reluctantly I give them my attention. You can clearly hear the two talking.

"Shawn, you said you would call me the moment they got here! And now you're fooling around!"

"Gus-"

"Shawn, this is the F-B-I! As in Federal Bureau of Investigation!"

"Really? I could've sworn that it had something to do with flapjacks..."

I stifle a laugh at Burton's face.

"Goddamn it Shawn!"

"Gus. What did I tell you before? I'll get a quick reading on them and then they'll be on their merry way. I already got a glimpse of something-"

"Shawn, you're playing with fire."

I'll say. I am a little interested to know what this 'psychic' got a 'glimpse' of, though I wouldn't admit it. Honestly, I'd rather just listen to them argue though. How do they get any work done?

"Come on Gus, I'll just do a quick reading! Nothing major! Just enough to-"

"Fine Shawn. Whatever. Just, please, TRY to be serious!"

Shawn salutes him and they walk back to us.

"If you two would please take a seat, I'll give you a demonstration of my psychic abilities.

* * *

I think I'll start with the man. He's the most willing to believe me.

"Do you need my hand or something?" he asks.

"Not really, but I suppose it couldn't hurt." I grab his wrist. Time for a fun show. I close my eyes tight and put my hand to my head. Once in a while I make a slight humming noise.

Meanwhile, my mind is racing.

I have plenty of information on him from his file, but I also have my own observations. Time to relay them somewhat coherently.

I jerk back, as if burned. I pretend to be out of breath. "You've lost someone", I start. Always start with the soft spot, so that then they'll be vulnerable. He is silent, so I go on. "Your sister. She was young. You both were. There was a bright light." He still says nothing, but I look at Agent Scully and she's fuming. So protective. This must still be sensitive.

"Things were never the same", I whisper. I let my words linger before I continue.

"Moving on, you're red-green color blind. You enjoy sunflower seeds. Your badge number is JTT1030073. Your superior is assistant director Walter Skinner, and, I don't know why I'm getting this, but he's bald." At that he cracks a smile.

"You're good", he says.

I smile. "It's all part of the job."

Agent Scully, however, is not impressed. She looks ready to comment, but she holds back.

"Of course, that was just a surface reading. If you'd like, I can to into further depth?"

"That won't be necessary", Scully interjects. She holds out her hand.

I've always loved proving people wrong. This, is where the real show begins.

* * *

As soon as he grabs my hand I realize that this is a bad idea. He clearly got that information from Mulder's file. Well, except for the sunflower seed thing, but there has GOT to be an explanation for that. I'm trying to think of one when Shawn jerks back.

"You've lost your sister as well. She was shot. The bullet was meant for you."

That could be found in my file.

"Congratulations on the remission."

Also my file.

"Recaptured your faith now did you?"

He probably saw my necklace.

"Your father was in the navy."

My file.

"You were very close to him."

Lucky guess.

"You're a scientist, that's why you don't believe in what I'm doing. That's why as I say things you're immediately thinking of ways I could've found them out."

Lucky guess.

"You thought that one was a lucky guess."

"That's enough", I say curtly. I stand up.

"Scully", I hear Mulder say behind me, but I have had enough of this charade; this pop psychiatry bull.

I look over at Burton and feel a little bad because he looks ready to cry.

"We'll be contacting you Mr. Spencer and Mr. Guster", I say. I'm in the doorway when Shawn says something that catches my attention.

"If I may, Agent Scully, I'd like to finish my reading." Against my better judgement, I turn around to face him. "Actually, never mind, you probably already know."

"Excuse me?" I'm about ready to lose it.

He grins wickedly. "Have fun at the hotel."

Yeah, it's definitely time to leave.

"Come on", Mulder murmurs in my ear. He's trying to calm me down but it only widens Shawn's grin.

"Shawn", Burton cautions him.

"Goodbye Mr. Spencer", I say. I walk out the door.

* * *

As soon as we're in the car I'm pelted with verbal abuse. Or, at least, I thought I would be. Instead, Scully provides me with a simple statement.

"Mulder, this case is ridiculous."

"Hey, you have to admit Scully, he's pretty good." He nailed us both.

"He had a tip we were coming, he probably got a hold of our files", she says indignantly.

"Scully, he knew my badge number by heart."

"Exactly! It's obvious that he memorized it. You of all people should know, he probably has a photographic memory."

"Okay, well what about Skinner being bald?"

"If he got our files he could easily get Skinner's."

"Well, that doesn't explain the sunflower seeds."

She reaches over that touches my arm. One eyebrow raised, she holds up half of a sunflower seed shell.

Oh.

"I'm telling you Mulder", she continues, "he's just overly observant."

"That doesn't explain how he practically knew what you were thinking."

"He probably reads body language well! Most psychics"- she draws out the term- "do. And who knows, maybe he dabbled in psychiatry or something."

At this I laugh. I'm honestly just playing dumb. I realize that 90% of what we were just told proves absolutely nothing, but I'm not leaving until we cover all of our bases. There's still people at the local PD to interview, and I tell Scully that. She just shakes her head and looks out the window.

She looks so pretty in the sun.

"Okay Scully, one last thing before we get to the PD."

Wearing her tolerant smile, she turns back to look at me. "Yes Mulder?"

"What do you think he meant in there? About the hotel and stuff?"

Now both eyebrows are raised. "It's just more psychic mumbo jumbo Mulder. I'm telling you, it was all an act. The gasping, the humming, the hand to the head; it's an elaborate hoax. Unfortunately, the information he notices and guesses is so accurate that you're forced to pay it undue attention."

She's rambling.

"Unlike you, I actually looked at his file." She yanks it out of her bag. "Do you know how many jobs he's had?"

I shake my head, smiling to myself.

"Neither do I!" she practically yells. "I can't be bothered to sit here and count them all! Jesus Mulder, it's plain as day that he's a fake, can't we just call him on it and go home?"

I have to admit, I agree with her. It's mostly just the profiler in me that says so, but I can't help but be interested. He's solved so many crimes, there must be _something _going on here. "Well Scully, let's just cover all our bases. Besides, don't you wanna soak up the sun?"

She sighs and shakes her head.

"Wait, Scully! Don't tell me you forgot your bikini!"


End file.
